Welcome home Citlali 2018.11.7

tired and happy that I have a very helpful and considerable hubby and nice helper for assistance.
I feel so much joy and greatful to have such a sweet home.
also I'm glad to have a new family member, Citlali, to our home. ❤️

Alien's mom 2018.11.3 8.39am

Today is the first day to be a mom official officially.
I don't feel stress but content as poncho be with me all the way

Maybe becoz of the anasthictic
I feel relaxed and no pain at all. The surgically clothes cover up high and the anasthetist was being with me all the way. I was so curious of everything, the smelly and the whole environment.

The most impressive  moment was I saw the anasthetist pushing himself to help pushing Citlali out, I see his arms forcing so hard and he is panting under his face masking.

I feel so greatful for their hard work. Instead of me giving birth on my own.

Then they take Citlali out and there we heard, the crying voice from her. So soft and gentle crying. I looked at poncho. Our alien has finally arrived.

Bb birthday

BB
Today is your 22nd birthday
We all.miss you ally
Hope you are happy with mama and Kung Kung up in the sky

We love you, always love you.

太空人,寄生蟲,異形

16 週前
偶然會感覺到你的存在
肚皮下的世界
想像你是個太空人
臍帶就是你與我唯一的連擊
有時肚子感覺到你從左至右的跳動
好像你在無重狀態下由左邊的星球跳躍到另一邊
weeeeee..........

20週
肚子明顯大了
更加感覺到你在我肚皮裏蠕動
好像寄生蟲一樣
一天一天吸收營養
一天比一天肥美

24週
早上醒來,餐後,晚上11開始你會變得活躍
力量比之前大
有時我在專心工作時候會比你大力一踢嚇倒
臨睡前是你開派對的時間
左一踢右一撐
好像很想掙扎出來
我想你會否等不及
像異形般從肚皮中爆出來
血淋淋的,带點鼻涕分泌
身體慢慢撐開,像貞子般慢慢爬出來...

這時候, 老公會講
你好快D 訓啦！

2018.8.22

I dreamt of my ex colleague with an adoption doggie,she looks alike BB, but she is a girl and her hair is abit long with long eye lashes( like Andy mochi) . So pretty and cute. And I took her for a walk and she walks happily
Then I woke up at 4am , sharp!

I have been waking up at 4-5am and can't back to sleep for 2 weeks
It's a torture.

2012.3.28

富裕社會才出現這現象嗎
這邊不時都會看到有人坐在街邊問別人討錢
非像香港般的專業老弱傷殘
十多二十歲青年，三十多的都有
但這位露宿者不同的，身邊沒有紙牌
每個早上我上班時都見他拿着結他唱歌，彈得不錯。
可惜每次我下班他已消失。要不然我會分一半午餐給你

2011.10.17

Those polariods force me back to think of you and the old days
What we were doing, typhoon days, sunny days
The day we sunbath together
Those morning n night walks, touch by the breezy wind and tizzy rain

I always remember

I miss you dearly

Dream 2011.10.17

It's like the same old days
Wendy wakes up first, breakfast then goes to work, then wincy's turn
I m watching aside as if no one knows I m here
Then I go to the living of mom, see her sleeping on her bed like the old days
I go to the bed, lie beside her, she talks to me her hands touches my hair, it just liked happening as in childhood 
I try to hear her, irresistibly say 'I miss you' 
I realize it is a dream, the time is frozen n I wake up, it's 830am

Dream 13th Oct 2011

Before departure to ukrine
A girl met me somewhere said if I wld like to sit with a lady since it's a long flight 
I landed in ukrine ard 5am,in an urban city,  the city tone is blue, pale n blur ,i followed ppl to a narrow but safe path, it lead to an endless road

I saw a guy climb up a high wall with little stairs, easily. I followed, at the top of it was a wild land, where I see sunrise, the light shines on little plants that makes perfect golden highlight of it's outlines 

2011.9.13 bb

今天你都不在我們的身邊
偶爾會看到你從前休息的位置
思想你我像從前一樣對望着
謝謝你一直陪着我們一起成長

2011.9.20

或韓文說一句句子。不要寒喧,說你那天的事或心情，一句可以啦。ok?

I think about you all the time. I know we can't make it, in fact, you expressed your feeling and rejected me in the very beginning. I'm just a fool to think I would have little chance to win your heart if I do the best I can. In fact , i couldnt.

2011. 9.22 Mind test

Eye close n imagine

1 road to the Forrest_walk in
2 key on the floor-wooden key-pick up
3 river- water-deep water can't see clearly down under-step down to the town-reverse city- quick water
4 house-swing bed in balcony-dog on front,house like in pai. House inside fill with foam bubbles, inside r all animals n insects floating inthe air, rainbow to rooftop, 天井直通rooftop which can see stars at night, has device to shelter when it rains, modern inside, raw outside 
5 problem- giant spider

Love 2018.6.3

My dear
Since when you become my dearest companion in my life
You changed my world of sight
You show me the possibilities in life
You make me become a mother
You are the most important person in my life

My love
My dearest
My best friend
My husband
Alfonso
I love you always
2018.6.3

Dream 2018.7.5 mama and MY

Morning

Ming Yin meets mama ont he road, i forget the whole scene. anyways, they become friends. One day, she comes visit us, mama is staying with poncho and me, and she is not visiting me but mam, and we have long chat, ming yin even helps us to iron clothes or sth household until late at night. mama asks her to stay over, we continue chatting, she is sitting next to poncho, dont know when we are too tired and fell asleep in the living room, poncho sleeps deelply so as MY. somewhat poncho thought she was me. didnt touch her, but the feeling is like familiar as family.

is it a sign?? is it a sign of u Ming Yin? Citlali was you?

Dream related to a movie -Annihilation

2018.6.22

Morning dream

There has another dream. Before this, but i forget, only rmb alittle guy shots ( most of the scenes in the dream related to the movie poncho n i watched last night -annihalition )

Back to the old apt in Kennedy town, it's messy as we leave for long time
When i was out at the corridor trying to lock the it. I saw a puppy like 1 or2 months old. Black, white color, remind me of bb, so pick her up immediately. She is quite energetic, wigging her tail, i didn't check carefully. Suppose most of the ppl leave that building, but i heard there's some noises at the stairs, so i walked towards and i saw Paul n Mike ( ex boss vets) they brought 2 gfs for party and i saw them the puppy. Paul checked and handed back to me and said see, she has problems and dying, her arm one long and short. And abdomen can see the bone and start rotten, but dry no blood . Can't really know if it's a he or she. So they gone. And i check carefully, that's true, but she continues look around. Then i saw Vicky and ying ying ( ex vet nurse). I told them i found her, and they said yes, another abundant puppy, and walk away.
I took her for a walk on the street and back to the apartment then i saw Cheryl (vet) she helped me to observe her for detail check and show me her cells in the micro lens, i place the puppy on a large cushion nicely, and back to check the cells. After, i saw her sleeps sweetly on the cushion ( i believe it means she rest in peace)
No ugly bloody scene, instead it's warm. I like the movie maybe.